 |
| R.I.P Peter Pumpkin <3 |
I struggle.
I struggle with you.
To read what your eyes don't show.
To understand what your words don't say.
I struggle to comprehend how you feel.
To interpret what you mean to me.
I don't know what you want.
I can not.
I struggle.
I struggle with you.
To read what your eyes don't show.
To understand what your words don't say.
I struggle to comprehend how you feel.
To interpret what you mean to me.
I don't know what you want.
I can not.
I struggle.
-----------------------------------
I got promoted. Sean got fired, and then Brian quit. So now I'm learning how to drill. Haylet and the Ditch Witch. Not the same at all. I now don't have to worry about busing halfway across the city, and I don't have to feel like my co-worker hates me. I'm working with Maddy now. He's cool, we get along alright. I've been hydro-vaccing the last couple days. I've made almost $900 in the last 38 of my working hours.
I'm going to Shambhala. I'm leaving Tuesday, Aug. 3rd and coming home Sunday, Aug. 8. I need to sneak in a Kaslo visit. I dont think I'm allowed to leave the grounds and come back though.. so I might have to reconsider, with my ride costing $150, and the ticket $230, plus food... Maybe I'll just take the ride and say screw Shambles, and go riding for 4 days, and fall back in love with my friends and my home. Maybe I'll just shrug Edmonton off like a bad dream...
No, that's not going to happen, new things are starting here, my roots are beginning to take, and new possibilities are arising. I'm becoming a part of people's lives, I'm starting to become important again.
Yes, this does mean I'm not moving to Vancouver. I think.. that was a love blind, rushed decision. Like the place, it's pretty and in B.C., but it's still so much city. I would rather struggle with money in Kaslo, where I know I'd be okay sleeping on the beach, than in the city, where I could be hurt. It's obvious isn't it? I want to go home. I don't even care about anyone coming with me anymore. I want to go home. April. I'll go home for my 20th, be with my horse, who I am realizing is the only sentient being that I actually love with every fibre of my entity, and start up my photography again. I'll go home for my 20th, and be happy again.
Mom's bringing home a kitten on Thursday. I've already named it. Apparently it looks like a Siamese with a white bib/belly. He's 5 weeks old and was found in mom's friend yard in a piece of conduit pipe. They found him a couple days ago, and he just yesterday recovered from shock.
His name will be Ines.
I'm going to Shambhala. I'm leaving Tuesday, Aug. 3rd and coming home Sunday, Aug. 8. I need to sneak in a Kaslo visit. I dont think I'm allowed to leave the grounds and come back though.. so I might have to reconsider, with my ride costing $150, and the ticket $230, plus food... Maybe I'll just take the ride and say screw Shambles, and go riding for 4 days, and fall back in love with my friends and my home. Maybe I'll just shrug Edmonton off like a bad dream...
No, that's not going to happen, new things are starting here, my roots are beginning to take, and new possibilities are arising. I'm becoming a part of people's lives, I'm starting to become important again.
Yes, this does mean I'm not moving to Vancouver. I think.. that was a love blind, rushed decision. Like the place, it's pretty and in B.C., but it's still so much city. I would rather struggle with money in Kaslo, where I know I'd be okay sleeping on the beach, than in the city, where I could be hurt. It's obvious isn't it? I want to go home. I don't even care about anyone coming with me anymore. I want to go home. April. I'll go home for my 20th, be with my horse, who I am realizing is the only sentient being that I actually love with every fibre of my entity, and start up my photography again. I'll go home for my 20th, and be happy again.
Mom's bringing home a kitten on Thursday. I've already named it. Apparently it looks like a Siamese with a white bib/belly. He's 5 weeks old and was found in mom's friend yard in a piece of conduit pipe. They found him a couple days ago, and he just yesterday recovered from shock.
His name will be Ines.
No comments:
Post a Comment